Life has many ups and downs, it brings smiles and tears, actually it brings so much. I think i will not try to mention the millions of things life brings!
For me sleep has not come much, tears have been flowing, fears have been faced and memories have flooded back. I am one who has a tough time asking for help even expressing my fears or emotions to those around me. As when your heart has been hurt in life and broken into small pieces and you still love with all those small pieces. For me, even though it is hard to admit, because most don't realaize I do this...I put up a wall around me, and not let many on the inside where I am, so as not to let my heart be hurt again. It happens.. as hard as i try not to let it happen, some are good and know how to do it well. Then something like a death, health issues, or a promise is broke. When things like this happen, it makes me realize just how short life is. How sometimes that wall holds you back from letting go and asking for help or letting someone eles see you vulnerable.
There is a song on the movie Bucket List that says "say what you need to say", and I think making a bucket list is something we all should do. Not only that, but to make the most of everyday moments. The past week or so have really got me thinking and examing my life. Things that I have done, things I have not done, what I would love to change, how I can change for the better, and who had a part in that, find contentment and true happiness. One of the biggest things I need to improve on is living in the moment and not worry about things I can't change, and how many people dont understand me or why i do or don't have this or that. I have for many years tried to do it all, be the best in evrything i do. So, for the first time, i am going to start my bucket list... not that i havent made or been apart of making a want to list or dream list with someone, but this list will be my bucket list. I will march to the beat of my own drum!
Not, that I am getting any younger or healthy enough to compile a huge list of crazy things!So, i am feeling inspired to start my list instead of sitting back and getting stuck in my daily routine. I happen to know it is my inner self that is holding me back. I realize there are mainly two types of people in life. The thinkers and the doers. The doers will probably do it anyways, but as a thinker, i will think about it, then do it. ( I hope!)
So, i plan and hope to not just list my items but be able to mark em off and of coarse add more!
1. go to Africa and work in a orphange.
2. climb Half Dome
3. walk Renee down the aisle.
4. have a white lab
5. finish 3 family trees with my mom and dad
6. finsh scrapbooking all pictures i have.
7. organize my 5,000 pictures on my phone into albums
8. a hot air balloon ride.
9. be in the audience at an Ellen show.
10. catch more fireflies
11. take my grandkids to Disneyland
12. be on Dr. Phil's intervention team
13. to follow through on a promise i made to a friend & make sure her parents are taken care of.
14. own a harley
15. love the statement and hope other does: worth the fight, worth the wait..
16. did i say, own my own resturant called either checkerboard cafe or Hay Haulers.
more to follow...( time for dinner with some BFF's....i love time with friends)
Because of His amazing Grace....
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