Saturday, May 4, 2013

THIS & THAT

I titled this blog "this & that" because I have a feeling it's gonna be a little bit about exactly this and that!  My mind goes faster than my fingers can type, or have the time to blog.  I thoroughly enjoy sharing my thoughts and experiences, hopes and strengths, even my not so....well ok weaknesses.  I do try to be open and let you see into me....that's been a new thing for me, because I have a huge fear of letting people into my life or letting people know me and then they just walk away....sometimes not even doing it on purpose, or meaning to, that's not as bad as literally or intentionally walking away. I know in the world of addiction, sometimes the disease is stronger than the person, not that it is becoming any easier to watch this disease take its toll, but maybe it's becoming a little more predictable.

Did I say i would apologize ahead of time for jumping from here to there and back to here? First of all it feels really good to be off the freeways and home in Missouri . Not that I didn't enjoy the things we saw along her way, not exactly my idea of beauty, yet still Gods creations and I tried keeping an open mind.
 I of coarse have enjoyed every minute with my mom and daddy .  I have always had the utmost respect and unconditional and forever amount of love for them, and yet in the last week, I have learned so many lessons from them.  They are patient, and not in a hurry... Even if they wanted to be in a hurry, their bodies won't let them.... You can't rush dialysis treatments, the intake and outtake exchange takes whatever time it needs, so lots of preparing and allowing as much time as possible.  Yet so grateful for this miracle treatment.  I know all about ( well I know some) how wonderful and artistic our God is... To of designed our bodies to such perfection, to be able to input certain about of fluid and drain off a certain amount of fluids all thru a port permanently inserted in his tummy.  Talk about great attitudes.... Well considering the alternaktive....we r blessed  that this is an option.  My mom and her back issues....God bless her....doesn't matter how severe the pain or the inability to do everyday things that We just take for granted....she continues to smile, do for others how ever she can, and what a prayer warrior she is....God is so good, He has given her the gift of sunshine, a ray of hope and happiness and
she shares that with others as it pours out of her.  Now,  I have been honored and its been a pleasure to travel back home with them.  I am absolutely fascinated with the scernery.... I honestly had no clue what and how people really  live.... Shantee's. on top of  more shantee's, not a store or gas for 100's of
miles, dirt roads, and ok we'll I'll start from the beginning...we left Manteca and drove along 99 passing thru Ceres and seeing a cattle auction going on ( brought back memories of childhood, and I definitely will go again). Drove thru Delhi where my son and his family live, Fresno was right around the corner where my brother Jeff lived for years, a graduate of Fresno Stat e am joking in journalism.  We pulled off in Delano, I believe where my daddy lived as a young- in.  We looked for his house, narrowed it down to one or two , he did say after all it was 70 years ago.  Turned off in Bakersfield onto Highway 58, our true journey was now starting....104 degrees in king an Arizona at 6:30 in the evening... No thank you!   I will admit, texted one of my cousins and said if we close to you, maybe we can have coffee in the morning....uuuummmm, the text back was ur not real close to Phoenix though.....I never said I was good with distance and geography....I meant well!  We traveled thru Arizona , on thru New Mexico, which is for the birds.... Probably not even the. It's, I did see a few black turkey buzzards...every now and then I'd see a cactus in bloom which gave me slight hope.  Then again, delapitated buildings, homes that looked vacant and boarded up, and around some places it looked l Ike the city dump or even a junkyard.  I'm sure if one car gives up, they just leave it and get another one till that one gives up.  I just imagined the rattlesnakes and tralanchlas ( u know big ugly hairy spiders), chills ran up and down my arms just thinking about them.  It was cool every now and then watching a large tumbleweed blowing in the wind, never seem to be traveling along side us, but right across in front of us.  If the tumbleweed could talk, in fact for hat matter if some of those old buildings and houses could talk, or even better if u could sit down with some people who that's all they know, the lives, the cultures, the foods,the beliefs and religions.  I couldn't help but think of my friend Angelia from UOP, we did the substance abuse program together. I have the utmost respect for
 Angelia , and I am only bringing this up in the most honorable way to her.  She grew up being bounced from home to home, foster care and not knowing her true nationality.  She was told she was Hispanic , and it wasn't until she was an adult, that she realized and was told the truth ...she was
Indian. She did some family research and actually met some of her people.  Going thru her own life issues and her journey of addiction and recovery....her passion is now in the Miwuk village working with others in this ugly disease of addiction.  Like I said, I couldn't help but think of her as I drove thru and walked among some Indians , wondering who is an addict, and if they are aware they are, I had heard it before, but she recomfirmed that it is naturally in their genes, and it is very prevailant amongest the Indians. As we drove thru their country, my mind just was on a whirlwind....I can't stop thinking of how they live, who they are, and it took me back to my hometown... Three rivers on Union Road..... Very intriguing, it be something I want to relate too just a little more.  We entered Texas.....flatlands, then onto Oklahoma....getting close to Missouri, so that's what I had on my mind....home sweet home, well my parents home and my home away from home.  We are here and there is so much to tell u about, yet for now, visiting with a neighbor, who helped us get the tv back to where wend able to watch it...u see we watched a DVD last nite, and wasn't able to get it back to normal tv.... I know I shouldn't even let anyone know how non tv control I am!!

Because of His AMAZING GRACE.......







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