ONE DAY YOU WILL.....

I have heard it more than once, and will admit have questioned and felt somewhat unworthy myself at times.  Yet, God doesnt make junk....we are all precious in His sight.  We are His creation, so it seriously breaks my heart when someone just wants to give up on life and doesn't have the passion or the desire to go on.... There is a reason for everything....and there is a reason i listen to music, and there is a reason certain songs come on the radio or my ipod when they do.....and there is a reason that i share what i share.....

 

after praying about this and feeling so strongly about this situation, yet not sure there was anything i could do or so, the song came on at the right time and i decided to just go with that, turn it over to God and trust the process.....

 

 

"One Day You Will"  by Lady Antebellum

 

You feel like you're feeling backwards

like you're slipping through the cracks

like no one would even notice

if you left this town and never came back

you walk outside and all you see is rain

you look inside and all you see is pain

and you cant  see it now

 

but down the road the sun is shining

in every cloud there is a silver lining

just keep holding on

and every heartache makes you stronger

but it won't be much longer

you'll find love, you'll find peace

and the you you're meant to be

i know right now thats not the way you feel

but one day you will

 

you wake up every morning and ask yourself

what am I doing here anyway

with the weight of all these disappoinments

whispering in your ear

you're just barely hangin on by a thread

you wanna scream but you're down to your last breath

and you don't know it yet.

 

find the strenght to rise above

you'll find just what you're made of

 

one day you will

oh one day you will

 

 

 

 

*please remember " down the road, the sun is shining and in every cloud there is a silver lining"

 

 

you, my friend are a survivor if you choose to be...you can do this if you choose to....

 

because of His AMAZING GRACE....

A PHOTO IS WORTH 1000 WORDS...

A photo is worth a thousand words..... i believe that is true and sometimes even worth more than a thousand words.  When I look around and am inspired about all the simple beauty that surrounds me, I constantly and naturally just wonder and imagine what the picture would say if it could talk.  I love my cell phone camera, i have over 6,000 pictures i have taken with it.  Then I recently just got an amazing camera.  I have played around with it some, my brain just doesnt work as well as it used to, but i am getting there.  I have just because gotten in the car and drove and drove just to see what I could see......snapping pictures right and left.  In life, sometimes we get so busy, we forget to truly look around and appreciate the small things.  I have had to check myself from time to time and realize how blessed I am....actually that I am blessed by the best and because of Him I get to enjoy all these things surrounding me.

 

this pump house on Southland Road has quite the history...more than a 1,000 words!

 

One of my favorite flowers, so bright and expressive, the way i try to share my thousands of words

 

This rock in Half Moon Bay has seen millions and millions of people and listened to all their words.....

 

words that will never be forgotten.....never a cross word, or a negative word ever came out of Elliots mouth, and nothing but millions and millions of amazing words have been said about my father-in-law

 

the sign says it all...."Old Faithful"  There are many words to describe "FAITH"

 

no words can describe the nitemare of cancer....right along with no words can describe the blessing of being a survivor.....she is my hero

 

 

a photo some will remember and then some that will never know anything about....a true classic of a picture

 

a canal that has been swam in by many...many words have been shared about this childhood memory....

 

many words have been shared about how light i am compared to Viana.... we love our skin tones.....she is as beautiful as an angel

 

how we like our marshmellows....

 

not just the colors are eye catching, but just think if these paddle boats could talk and share all the words they have heard ...

 

morning glory.... oh how they bring glory in the morning....

 

every stitch, every inch of leather, every ball it has caught, i would love to hear all the words my brothers mitt would talk about.... one of my priceless possesions

 

many words were shared this day...with 30 plus years of memories and special times...this cake heard it all this day, but East Union graduates that spent a fun Saturday afternoon together.

 

if cards could talk...21, texas hold 'em. black jack, go fish and canasta....the fun and joy cards have brought many....

 

red, blue, yellow, green....right hand , left foot, left hand right foot....oh the words twister would love to share about all the challenging, crazy configurations it has seen!

 

one of m all time favorite pictures....54 years of marriage and millions and millions of words and memories....such an inspiration these 2 are.....

 

every leaf, ever color has a story, wind blown, stepped on, and enjoyed by many

 

table rock lake in shell knob missouri....millions and millions of words it would take to describe all the good times, the lessons learned and the memories had by many.  so grateful that both the kids were able to reunite with people, places and things this past christmas...so many words were shared...

 

when a father teaches a daughter how to skip a rock...there actually arent any words for it....

 

all the loving words little gabriel has heard from all the people that love him...priceless!

 

there are no words for a mother daughter kiss...

 

a million words, a million memories, from jeff's starbucks card, his Mardi Gra passion, his love for Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty, his love and respect for family, for his love for writing....he was such an inspiration....

 

So, I will continue to be inspired and continue to take pictures and continue to express and share my words  because of His AMAZING GRACE....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



GOD SHOWS UP......

 

I have heard this statement a time or two made by others, and I personally have said it, and i have personally seen this so many times.  "GOD SHOWS UP....sometimes in small ways and sometimes in BIG ways.  I kind of feel bad saying in "small ways", because nothing God does is small.  Yet, we may take these things for granted.  Not the sunrise, not the sunset, not the gentle breeze, not the stars, not the birds that sing, or the mountains or rivers, streams and the ocean, each and every breath we take every second, every single beat of our hearts......none of these things are small so I should retract and apoligize....God does nothing small.  Yet He shows up when we least expect Him to, or when we didn't even ask Him too.  He just knows and in fact, He never leaves us.... we may walk away , we may think we can do whatever we need to on our own, sometimes we give it to God, but when things arent happening the way we want it to, or quick enough, we have a tendency to take it back from Him and try to do it on our own.  Sometimes, i have found myself playing tug-o-war with God, give alittle then pull back, back and forth, back and forth.  Back to God showing up.......I have been in the middle of a hurricane in lousiana, and God showed up and JUST stayed, there was no reason for Him to leave.  I have been visiting someone in jail and God showed up,  He shows up while I am listening to music, and lays some lyrics on me to really think about, He shows up on my facebook daily, He shows up at my work, and blesses me with Amie, with Tiney, with Cheryl, Chantelle, Michelle, brenda, Hope, Liz,Teresa and many others.  He shows up in Delhi, in the home of Mike, Beatriz and Viana.  He shows up in the gym and gives Renee the courage and strenght to continue doing what she is doing.  He shows up in Memorial Hospital every Wednesday and touches my Scotty-man and the nurses and Doctors that love him so much.  God shows up in Colorado Springs with my only neice Emily and my nephew Ariel, and baby Gabiel.  He shows up in Afganistan, protecting Ramon and Larry and thousands of others.  God shows up in Springfield Missouri, continuing to carrying my mom and daddy thru dialysis and cancer, He shows up in Manteca on Kimberly Drive, and Tinnin Road and Southland Road, and Amador Circle.  God shows up at Shasta School and blesses the children with great loving teachers, Mrs. Hatfield, Mrs alexander,.and many others, He stays at shasta School and protects Quinn Martinez and Alexis Quitiquit, and all other children.  God shows up at Bethany Home and comforts my Me-ma, He shows up on every road that my Uncle Gary and Aunt JoElla travel in their motorhome.  God shows up in Salida and loves and comforts my sister-in-law and my nephew Nick and cynthia as they continue to miss Jeff.  God shows up in friendships, in marriages, in every care and concern we have.  He stands at the door and knocks...He won't bang the door down, it's up to us to let Him in.  God never gives up on anyone....miracles happen every day. As you can see....God shows up, whether we think He is there or not.  Sometimes, He is quiet and other times He is very loud and clear. Did I mention He shows up in my life?  Every day He is there....every day he is showing me something new, everyday He brings me peace and comfort and joy and patience and love and kindness and knowledge and strenght and braveness and courage.  He shows me that I am a work in progress, He isn't finsihed with me yet, He shows up and puts words in my mouth, and opens my eyes and ears.  He reminds me when to be still and listen, He reminds me that I have a story and I need to share it and let others know that there is another way to live without drugs and alcohol.  He shows up when I am sad and angry and confused and heart broken that the other half of my life is not with me anymore, and I miss him tremendously, He reminds me that Jeff was on loan to us anyways, we are all on loan, we all belong to Him, its just that God needed Jeff more than we did, and its just a matter of time before we meet again.  God shows up at NA meetings, He shows up at New Hope Treatment Center and Family Ties, He shows up everywhere, and I am soooooo glad He does!  I can't imagine working, loving, playing, sharing, and living without Him.  And as I am trying to close this blog, my "Mazing-Grace wakes up, looks at me and crawls into my lap with her big brown eyes and fluffy fur and wet kisses and hey stop very sharp razorblade puppy teeth......God shows up in her too as she loves me unconditionally, so innocent, and so non-judgemental.   God is so good, blesses us all, and promises to always show up and never leave or forsake us!

 

 

I encourage you all to be still and think about where God shows up for you...

 

Because of His AMAZING GRACE.....

MY BIGGEST FANS......

Everyone knew it but me.....Yet, when I was finally able to say i needed and wanted help.....i truly found out who were my biggest fans.  I have the best family and friends.  At first, i wanted to keep my addiction and recovery a secret.  After about 3 days and with some clarity, i wanted anyone and everyone to know when, where, what and how.  I knew i was right where i needed to be and I was doing the right thing.  I met some amazing people and was able to learn so much about me and gathered knowledge and tools that I never even knew existed.  I have kept every piece of paper,every card i recieved,  every letter i had to write, every phone number i got and cherished every friendship i made.  I have also realized and witnessed that not every addict wants recovery and even if they do, the drug alot of times is stronger than they are. I have stood beside beds as they had machines breathe for them, and within hours, crossed over to the other side.  I have gone almost every Sunday in a year to the County jail for a one hour visit with one of the most sincere, kindest, amazing friend, that I love the most, who today is the best son, best dad to his 3 kids, and such a productive member of society. I never gave up and I knew he had it in him. It doesnt matter how old or how young you are, doesn't matter male or female, professional or blue collar worker, doesnt matter if you are yellow, brown, black or white, a mom or a grandma, college graduate of Berkley and an all American Water Polo player, doesnt matter if you have a great family, a job or no job, in love or not....addiction does not discriminate.  I could go on and on about addiction, recovery, substance abuse counsloring, good people who make bad choices, kids caught in the cross-fire, and death, lifes taken way to soon due to overdose, the devil wants each one of us dead, yet what i really wanted to share is one of the many cards my mom sent me.  I came across it just recently, and it reminds me of what a wonderful mother i was blessed with.  I have learned so much from her, and i know it wasnt easy for anyone, especially my family, how could this be happening???? no one in my family, no one really understood at first, wondering why I cant just stop taking the 10 prescription drugs that i was mixing and matching..... believe me, I wanted to just stop too....yet they the drugs had me right where they wanted me...3 feet under.  Yet with the help, love and support of all my family and friends, I was able to say and be comfortable and not ashamed  with saying " My name is Sherri, and i am an addict, so glad that I am a "grateful recovery addict" with 4 years, 2 months and 13 days clean.  So back to the one particular card.  Many know me, (somewhat) and some know my mom and what an angel on earth she is...A little over 4 years ago, i recieved this  card and i have felt moved to share this with others....

 

dated: 2-3-09

 

"Wow, what a cold day, 17 degrees and windy.  the ground hog saw his shadow yesterday so 6 more weeks of winter- so they say.  Just got back from taking Daddy to work.  I got some meat and veggies from the freezer- my hands are so cold, it is hard to write.  Gotta go for my back therapy shortly.  This is my 10th time, I am thinking it is helping.  Hope so.

 

Hope you got some good sleep last night and are feeling good. Just remeber, if God cares for birds, will He not care for his children.  Matthew:10:31.  Do not fear,  therefore, you  are of more value than many sparrows.  When we face difficult situations, fear may cause us to wonder is God is aware of our situatuion.  Jesus' teachings assures us that God cares deeply and is in control.  His trackings of our lives never fail.  He never loses track of us and meets our every needs.

Just keep getting better every day.  all our love.....mom and dad"

i dont beleive there was a day that i didnt get a card from our church family, from my family, my friends from work, the doctor i worked for, greg, Renee, and so many more.  The support I had was above and beyond, and that support continues, yet i do know that i wont be able to keep all this unless I share my hopes, strenghts and experiences. 

so, thank you for always being there every Tuesday nite for family nite and every Sunday afternoon, for sending a card, for calling the payphone, and most important for "BELIEVING IN ME..."

AND I DO KNOW, IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND CONTINUED SUPPORT, NOT JUST TO ME, BUT TO MY FAMILY.  i AM FEELING SO BLESSED AND LOVED......AND ALL BECAUSE  OF  "His  AMAZING GRACE".



THE GOOD STUFF......SIMPLE THINGS.....

In the car last tonight....I got a loud and clear message...

 

Kenny Chesney's song "The Good Stuff"......and "Simple Things"....

You see Recovery comes 2nd in my life....God is first.... and the reason I say recovery comes second, before anything or anyone eles is because if my recovery doesnt come second, i could or would lose everyone and everything else.  I will admit, sometimes i get alittle complacent...my stepwork, my meetings, using my sponsor as I should (you know I love you Tina and I hope you know how much i love you).  I will say I walk the walk and talk the talk to the best of my ability.  I used to not share or open up to others about my addiction, but things are not like that anymore.  i will do anything to help another addict..help them understand and know there is a different way to live without drugs and alcohol.....I will share my hopes, strenghts and experiences, and  know that God will guide me and help me to share with others.  God had both of His hands in the decision and the outcome of my schooling to be a substance abuse counslor.  The people, places and things He has placed in my path reassures me that this is the direction I belong, and doing what He would have me do.  So back to the song "The Good Stuff and Simple things"

This gentleman got into an  arguement with his wife, so he gets in his car and drives around lookin for a bar with a neon sign out front.  As he goes inside, its just the bartender and him-self.  The bartender asked him what he wanted to drink, and the gentleman said "give me the good stuff".  The bartender didn't reach for the whiskey, or pour him a beer.  the bartenders blue eyes got a little misty as he said "you won't find that here."  The bartender took out a carton of milk and poured himself a glass of milk, and the young man says "I'll have a glass too" They talked for hours.  Basically the song is about living life on life's term.  Everyone has good days, bad days, disappointments, sad and happy times,gains and losses, pain and heartaches, yet we are able to walk through these things without ever finding the need to pick up any drug and put it in our body.

When this gentlman promised someone that he would drop in at one of those meetings down at the Y, he finally did.  Well, they started talkin bout steps they take, mistakes they make, the hearts you break, and the price you pay...He almost walked away.  You could hear a pin drop, when this old man stood up and said " I'm gonna say it again, like I do every week, for those who don't know me...

It's the simple things in life, like the kids at home and a loving wife, that you miss the most, when you lose control. And everything you love starts to disappear, the devil takes your hand and says no fear.  Have another shot, just one more beer, Yah, I've been there, thats why I'm here.  This ole boy stood up in the aisle, said he'd been living a life of denial and he cried as he talked about wasted years.  I couldn't belive what I heard, it was my life word for word, and all of a sudden, it was clear....

IT"S THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE.....



I agree, it's the simple things in life, your simple things may be different than my simple things. 
yet, no matter whatever our simple things are, dont ever let them out of our sight, and never give up.  And never stop believing in yourself, never turn your back on  others....Keep the faith, and know it is "one addict helping another addict" and "it's one day at a time." Don't let the devil take your hand and say "no fear" And remember and repeat this all the time: "Don't hate the addict...hate the disease."

This is an ugly disease....yet the only know cure is when you, yourself is ready.  The good things and simple things are well worth it.

Because of His AMAZING GRACE...........

 

 

 

 



AIRSTREAM...A GYPSY I AM.....

MUSIC AND LYRICS SPEAK TO ME.......

 

Sometimes a song or bits and pieces of a song sticks in my head, and thats all i think about! For months now, these particular lyrics play over and over in my mind.  It's not realistic, but it's fun to imagine, and it takes me away from everyday stresses and gives me the chance and ability to wonder and dream about ....it takes me away for a short time, i"m able to regroup and keep doing what I'm doing.....

 

"Sometims I wish I lived in an airstream with homemade curtains, lived just like a gypsy, break a heart, roll out of town, cause gypsies never get tied down.

 

Sometimes, I wish I lived on a mountain, drank from a stream instead of a fountain.  I'd stay there, top of the world.

 

Sometimes, I wish I lived by a pier, in a lighthouse with a chandelier, I'd watch everybody's ships come in, and then I'd sail away with them.

 

Unanchored in a storm or safety on the shore.  If this is all I need, why do I want more?

 

Sometimes, I wish i lived in an airstream, homemade curtains.....lived just like a gypsy...

 

 

 

I love imagining the life of a gypsy..... so easy going, so free-spirited, so simple minded, no high expectations of others, enjoy the moment, take nothing for granted, few responsibilities, loving others, judging no one, enjoying the sunrise and sunset, freedom, gentle breeze, nature, no fences, no limits, so happy go lucky.....I'd like to be a gypsy, at least imagine I am, feel it in my heart and in my soul....I'm ok with that....I'm a day dreamer....full of wonder and a huge imagination....so a gypsy I am ....until I have to go back to reality...

 

 

becuz of his AMAZING GRACE....

MORE WORDS TO LIVE BY....

I LOVE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND WORDS OF WISDOM....

 

again, feeling like sharing some more quotes and words of wisdom.....I hope and pray that even just one of these helps you or makes a difference in your life.  I hope you can share  them with others or poosibly apply them to your life:

 

 

You may not always undertand why God allows certain things to happen, but you can be certain that God is not making any mistakes.

 

If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.

 

To be kind is more important than to be right.  Many times what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens.

 

If you don't stand behind our troops....feel free to stand in front of them.

 

Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth and your heart for love.

 

Every day is a new beginning.  Treat it that way.  Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.

 

God has a perfect plan for us.  He never does it all at once, just step by step because He wants to teach us to walk by FAITH not by sight!

 

 

I love words of wisdom.  No matter where I have been or where or what my future holds, I know the more I know and the more wisdom I have, the more I want to share with others.  i know none of this is possible without my God.....it's because of His AMAZING GRACE.