MY BIGGEST FANS......

Everyone knew it but me.....Yet, when I was finally able to say i needed and wanted help.....i truly found out who were my biggest fans.  I have the best family and friends.  At first, i wanted to keep my addiction and recovery a secret.  After about 3 days and with some clarity, i wanted anyone and everyone to know when, where, what and how.  I knew i was right where i needed to be and I was doing the right thing.  I met some amazing people and was able to learn so much about me and gathered knowledge and tools that I never even knew existed.  I have kept every piece of paper,every card i recieved,  every letter i had to write, every phone number i got and cherished every friendship i made.  I have also realized and witnessed that not every addict wants recovery and even if they do, the drug alot of times is stronger than they are. I have stood beside beds as they had machines breathe for them, and within hours, crossed over to the other side.  I have gone almost every Sunday in a year to the County jail for a one hour visit with one of the most sincere, kindest, amazing friend, that I love the most, who today is the best son, best dad to his 3 kids, and such a productive member of society. I never gave up and I knew he had it in him. It doesnt matter how old or how young you are, doesn't matter male or female, professional or blue collar worker, doesnt matter if you are yellow, brown, black or white, a mom or a grandma, college graduate of Berkley and an all American Water Polo player, doesnt matter if you have a great family, a job or no job, in love or not....addiction does not discriminate.  I could go on and on about addiction, recovery, substance abuse counsloring, good people who make bad choices, kids caught in the cross-fire, and death, lifes taken way to soon due to overdose, the devil wants each one of us dead, yet what i really wanted to share is one of the many cards my mom sent me.  I came across it just recently, and it reminds me of what a wonderful mother i was blessed with.  I have learned so much from her, and i know it wasnt easy for anyone, especially my family, how could this be happening???? no one in my family, no one really understood at first, wondering why I cant just stop taking the 10 prescription drugs that i was mixing and matching..... believe me, I wanted to just stop too....yet they the drugs had me right where they wanted me...3 feet under.  Yet with the help, love and support of all my family and friends, I was able to say and be comfortable and not ashamed  with saying " My name is Sherri, and i am an addict, so glad that I am a "grateful recovery addict" with 4 years, 2 months and 13 days clean.  So back to the one particular card.  Many know me, (somewhat) and some know my mom and what an angel on earth she is...A little over 4 years ago, i recieved this  card and i have felt moved to share this with others....

 

dated: 2-3-09

 

"Wow, what a cold day, 17 degrees and windy.  the ground hog saw his shadow yesterday so 6 more weeks of winter- so they say.  Just got back from taking Daddy to work.  I got some meat and veggies from the freezer- my hands are so cold, it is hard to write.  Gotta go for my back therapy shortly.  This is my 10th time, I am thinking it is helping.  Hope so.

 

Hope you got some good sleep last night and are feeling good. Just remeber, if God cares for birds, will He not care for his children.  Matthew:10:31.  Do not fear,  therefore, you  are of more value than many sparrows.  When we face difficult situations, fear may cause us to wonder is God is aware of our situatuion.  Jesus' teachings assures us that God cares deeply and is in control.  His trackings of our lives never fail.  He never loses track of us and meets our every needs.

Just keep getting better every day.  all our love.....mom and dad"

i dont beleive there was a day that i didnt get a card from our church family, from my family, my friends from work, the doctor i worked for, greg, Renee, and so many more.  The support I had was above and beyond, and that support continues, yet i do know that i wont be able to keep all this unless I share my hopes, strenghts and experiences. 

so, thank you for always being there every Tuesday nite for family nite and every Sunday afternoon, for sending a card, for calling the payphone, and most important for "BELIEVING IN ME..."

AND I DO KNOW, IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND CONTINUED SUPPORT, NOT JUST TO ME, BUT TO MY FAMILY.  i AM FEELING SO BLESSED AND LOVED......AND ALL BECAUSE  OF  "His  AMAZING GRACE".