GENERATIONS AWAY...

The album Golden by Lady Antelbellum has 12 songs of life, love, and lonelisness.  I love this entire cd...but hands down, no questions about it "Generations Away" is the best.  The song has a catchy tune, very upbeat and the lyrics, they talk about how the wish they'd like to be various historical landmarks. (If I were a prison, I'd wanna be Folsom).  There's a slightly funk guitar sound here and there, close to the country/island of Kenny Chesney or even Jimmy Buffet.

Some feel its a silly song...in fact it ends with a "He's got the whole world in His hands" sing along, which can be borderline impossible to take seriously , yet i feel its harmless fun, and its a crowd pleaser.  So for me....it's a 2 thumb up and I hope it is for you too!  enjoy the lyrics...

"If I were a summer, I wanna be '69

I'd be chilling, listening to Dylan

holding up a peace sign"

"If I were a prison, I wanna be Folsom

Johnny Cash be rocking that black

singin to the strips and kickin out the lights"

Hey, what can i say?

I hope they'd talk about us that way

there ain't no place id rather be

then right here making history

Hey  what can we do

here we are, its me and you

So, lets take all the pictures 

we can take, for the generation away.

If I were an old car, I wanna be a mustang

American made with a white rag top 

on a blue sky day

And if I were a preacher, I wanna be Dr. King

Oh I know he's up there smiling down

cause we all still have a dream.

Hey, what can I say? 

let's make some memories while we can

laugh and love, don't mess your chance

Cause He's still got the whole wide world in His hands

So, baby lets dance

I hope they talk about us that way,

raise your voice and have no fear

let 'em know you were here singing

hey what we are, it's me and you

so lets take all the pictures we can take

and let's make all the memories we can make

He's got the whole world in His hands

He's got the whole world in His hands

so come on everyone lets dance

so sing out loud and wave your hands....
'cause He has the whole world in His hands

I love this song and so enjoy the quirkiness about it!

and its all because of His Amazing Grace.....

A TASTE OF HOME.....WHY I COOK.....

Why I cook....

 

to feed my creativity.....

because a new ingredient is like a new toy...

to show my love....

because I love food....

to feel like a artist.....

to remind me of my childhood...

because my kitchen is one of my happiest places...

to unleash my inner chef.....

 

Cooking is an out for me....I love how it makes me feel (as long as I don't have to clean..Lol!).  I love taste-testing...I love presentation.  I love the comments or should I say suggestions.  Cooking makes me happy and lots of times, it makes others happy and yes, I feel like an artist and I love having a small audience for feedback and I love when it's yummy in your tummy.  I love my kitchen, I have my favorite knifes, favorite skillets, favorite platters and yes I love paper plates!!  Cooking brings love to the air, cooking brings back childhood memories and I hope it makes memories for my kids that they some day will share with their kids and most of all cooking brings out my inner chef!

 

I have to say I enjoy cooking verses baking.  Baking is ok, but my mom and mother-in-law are so good at baking, I kind of leave that up to them.

 

I love cooking shows...Emerald, Rachel Ray, Paula Dean, Guy Fieri, Chopped, Cupcake wars, 30 minutes or less, Food Network, Bobby Flay, Giada, and Trisha Yearwood.  Basically, there is nothing like a home-cooked meal made with love that can spark old memories of our childhood.  Down-home country recipes have a special place in my heart...recipes that have created memories that will never fade.  Most of my favorite dishes to cook and eat are family favoirites:

Mona's....Ola-la-berry pizza

Mom's.....chicken-n-dumplins

Me-Ma's...peach cobbler

Dad's...pineapple upside down cake

Mona's....potatoe soup

Mom's.... gumbo

Ok, Ok.... there's salmon patties, mashed potatoes, beans and cornbread, Texas sheet cake, tacos, home-grown spaghetti sauce, homegrown tomato juice, fried chicken...darn I'm getting hungry as I am writing this.

 

Cooking and food makes so many memories.  Take Valentines for example.  For almost 30 years, we have had the same tradition with or without kids.  A red tablecloth spread out on the carpet, hot dogs and cheese wrapped in a cresent roll served with tator tots and a splash of ketchup and mustard to deep them into----love is definitely in the air.

 

Spaghetti - 3 different recipes all in the same evening makes for a spaghetti cook-off, and the winner is....ALL 3.

 

One of my favorite times of cooking was our "Backwards dinner".  First, you weren't allowed to enter the front door, back door only. 2nd, you had to dress backwards or inside out! Lots of creativity and good sports.  Then being everything was backwards that could only mean dessert first.  Awwww, that was Viana's favorite part, I mean how often do you get to have ice-cream sundaes and rice krispies treats before your meal! Not very often, but one time we will never forget.


I grew up on this menu, my kids grew up on the same menu and the next generation is enjoying it too.  I share this with all my friends...."English muffin pizza's"   we each get to top our own pizzas with our favorite toppings....salami, pepperoni, ham, olives, ham, pineapple, onions, mushrooms, cheese....place 'em in the oven and anxiously await for the timer to go off!

Another one of my favorites to eat is a meal of nothing but things from the garden, from my mama and daddy's garden.  Not only is it healthly and tastey  but with all the love and hard work is behind it makes it even better tasting.  From plowing the ground, smoothing the ground, making the rows, digging the holes, placing fertilizers, rice hulls, placing the seed or plant and placing the soil back around it, watering it and padding it down nice and firm, and watching day after day for it to break thru the soil and climb and curl around the poles or string....more water, lots of sunshine, keeping the weeds away.....before we know it, there's the pods of okra, the green beans, the flowering zucchini, the green tomato turning red or gold, the radish ready to pick and eat, bellpeppers, chilis, haberneros, cilantro, all ready to add to homemade salsa.  Yellow squash and zuchnni sliced and grilled, black-eye peas & okra.  Oh, okra...fried okra and boiled okra, both at the top of my list....so hard for me to grasp that there are people out there who have never tried okra.  So, yep a garden meal has got to be one of my favorite meals!

Throughout my adult life, I have collected 100's of recipes and the stories behind them.  Each recipe is a memoir of the person who created it and carried it down from generation to generation.  I'll have to say the main ingredient is the person not the food.  As I follow the food-stained, time erased directions, I can see, hear and smell the person who shared it with me....from

Grandma Reynolds and her chocolate bread pudding
Nora and her strawberry jello gram-cracker dessert
Mona's oli-berry pizza
mom's chicken n dumplins
dad's pinto beans and cornbread recipe written on a paper towel
Shawna and her black-eyed pea salsa
Jerry's baklava
Dortheil's peanut butter pie

I can remember the pan that the dish was made it.  I feel the comfort of each warm kitchen as I remember all the knick knacks that stood on the shelves, the lace curtains that hung on the windows.  We not only shared recipes, we shared our lives.  We shared the love of food, love of family, love of friendship.  They are classic recipes in the sense that they are characteristics of that person.

Basically, there is nothing like a home-cooked meal made with love that can spark old memories of our childhood.  Down-home country recipes have a special place in my heart.  Some of these recipes have created memories that will never fade.  Chicken-n-dumplin's, which I make over and over and even upon request! Cornbread in a cast iron skillet, Sunday after church fried chicken dinner along with mashed potatoes and incrediable Peach cobbler, hot and fresh right out of the oven!  Oh the aroma of a hot peach cobbler, there is nothing like it.  I love the top layer of pie crust...weaved in and out of each other, the melted butter, the sprinkled sugar and cinnamon & the bubbling edges, and the sweet aroma...in fact making my craving even stronger.  This was not only my favorite, but many others.....no one could make it like my Me-Ma.

Growing up when dinner time came around, I/we never had to fend for ourselves and just eat.  We came together and would sit down at the table together...a tradition we still do to this day, and grace was always said before we ate....yet I always knew "grace wasn't a prayer we just asked before a meal, it was a way to live".  I'm so grateful for being taught that.

Another favorite is church get-togethers for Thanksgiving, Christmas, chili cook-offs, bar-b-q's and roasting a pig in the ground.  Lots of great memories...my Me-Ma, my mom, my mother-in-law and now my Renee are all cooking inspirations for me....

Meatloaf (my mama)
homemade mac & cheese (ann souza)
fall off the bone ribs ( Renee)
Magic beans (Erin)
chicken stuffed bellpeppers (lindz)

and the list goes on and on...
So now maybe you can see just another little piece of my puzzle of why I love to cook.....

to feed my creativity...
to show my love.........
because I love food.....
to feel like an artist.....
to remind of home- growing up.....
to unleash my inner chef

and all because of His Amazing Grace.....

 

 

 



SEEMS LIKE SPRING......

As I sit comfortably and listen to the weather report on a 30 second intermission on Good Morning America....I can't help but take a few seconds and talk to the good Lord and thank Him for the beautiful record-setting 70 degrees tempertures these past few weeks (yes, I wrote this 2 weeks ago, just now putting it on my blog), yet kindly asking Him to bless us with some much needed rain.  I know there are many South Dakatoans, East Coasters, and mid westerns that are just wishing for some of our Spring-like weather.  From blizzards to freeze outs to hundreds of car pile-ups due to snow and ice and being house bound due to the weather....and then there is our spring like weather!

 

For most of us it is thrilling to greet spring after a long cold, snowy, dark winter. As I drive around I notice even the horses and cows seem bored and are so over winter weather, as they stare over the fences into the garden with expectations.  So you see, horses and cows aren't much different than us, we seem to stare at the garden and yard from inside the house.  I saw this picture on facebook that showed Californians all bundled up with beanies, gloves and parkas on a 50 degree day , while kids in Colorado run through the sprinklers on a 50 degree day!

 

It doesn't even feel like winter has arrived (till now), in fact it had felt like it skipped us all together.  It seems like spring has quickly arrived and small bits of spring color.  On an early meander through my courtyard, I spot a cluster of morning glory already making an appearance.  I push away leaf litter in the corner of the flower bed to reveal miniature 4 o'clock's rearing their lovely budding leaves.  Another walk out of my front gate reminds me of how beautifully my black-eyed Susans are wanting to missile their launch once again.  Usually my early Spring is measured by spots of colors.  The early risers in my yard definitely revive my sense of wonder and passion for my flowers.  I then realize not to get to excited...the ground hog says there is 6 more weeks of winter, and I'm sure there will be more freezing days, frost covered mornings and much needed rain.

 

But soon, I won't be counting individual garden thrills, because flowers and perinals will come in rapid appearances.  After being quiet and keeping it on the low down for months, the flower beds will ramp into full throttle blossems- the hibiscus will bloom like we live in the tropics.  I know it's silly, but all this makes me giddy and thankful, and knowing that eventually the other shoe is gonna drop, and both feet will be in and everything will be in bloom. (did I say bloom? one of my favorite sayings "bloom where you are planted" or better yet.."bloom before you are planted". and living your life as a fruit of the Spirit person, bearing good fruit and living in grace.  Take your time and discover the fruit of the spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  The fruit of the Spirit from my understanding is a relationship with the one who wants to give you the most abundant life you can possibly have- a life of peace, freedom and spiritual growth.  So, at this point I take a deep breath, decide to become more like Jesus, I don't want to wait  and hopefully you don't either, till it's too late...so there you go  "BLOOM BEFORE YOU ARE PLANTED".

 

Ok, back to spring and all the lilac blossoms, daffodils and all the black-eyed susans.  Once again, I learn the lesson that I choose to forget each year, "what Spring giveth, she often taketh away".

 

One thing that I don't enjoy or don't look forward to is the wind.  Yes, to fly a kite and watch the soft white cotton like clouds blow across the bright blue sky.  Yet, when the winds little hands work its way through the 500 feet high pine tree in my front yard (ok, maybe I exaggerate a little!) and blows and bends, not just the branches, but the entire tree sways to and fro, at times I pray it doesn't fall, it's almost eerry though and extremely messy when the pine needles drop like when cotton leaves float and make such a mess....and the wind seems like an ancient, mischievous spirit , yet wind in the winter beats wind blowing in the spring or summer.  It can blow like the breath of a dragon and for sure havoic takes place. The wind reminds me of the bully wolf from the  "The three little pigs" tale.  Like the wolf, the wind huffs and puffs and blows things down! We can't stop the wind, just like we can't stop the spring and the "bloom where you are planted or bloom before you are planted" theory.

 

Spring will come when its time, and for today I will be grateful, and its all

 

Becuz of His Amazing Grace.....

 



5 YEAR JOURNEY......

5 years of gratitude......

5 years of struggles......

5 years of learning........

5 years of meeting people like me....

5 years of heartaches......

5 years of happy-heart times....

5 years of knowing the disease doesn't discriminate..

5 years of the disease taking the lives of loved ones...

5 years of forgiveness, love, support, courage, strenght and grace...

For the first part of my journey I did a lot of listening and keeping quiet.  I didn't know what to say, how to say it, find the words to say it, nor really wanted to say it.  I had myself believing I didn't have anything worthwhile to say, I didn't have anything to offer to others.  I made myself believe that for along time, and still do most of the time, yet I have learned and have seen that if you don't share and graciously give away what was so graciously given to you....you won't be able to keep it!

5 years does fly , but at times can either seem to drag or even come to a stand-still.

I am extremely grateful for all the people that have been a part of my recovery.  I have so many to thank and will attempt, yet apoligize ahead of time if I leave anyone out, it's not that I  forgot you, its just thank it can be
over-whelming but  my heart is overflowing with love for each one of you, named or not named.

Some don't even know my story, I'm not the most open, outgoing, put everything on the line type of person, because if I do put myself, my heart and my trust out there, I simply have a few expectations. I know I shouldn't have expectations, but can't help it, when you are dealing with someone's heart.

I'm pretty sure there's not one person out there that when setting their goals and dreaming their dreams it includes "being a drug addict".  I know I didn't.  I never dreamt I would be an addict at 45, even more I  never thought I'd overdose, end-up in the emergency room nearly losing my life, or dreamt that I'd lose someone I loved from an overdose..  I never imagined I would know other addicts, that I would eventually fill out paperwork to visit friends doing time in jail, know people on parole, been incarcerated for years and years, people who live on the streets, under bridges, eat out of dumpsters, lose their kids to CPS due to choses they made or didn't make.  I learned right away that we couldn't look at the difference....we had to look at the simalarites and the simalarities was drugs.
 The simalarites that we hurt, we didn't know how to say no to the drug, we didn't make good choices, we truly were good people making poor choices, we lost loved ones, we disappointed not only others, but ourselves...we let ourselves down.

It has taken a lot of hard work on the inside to get where we are today.  It is so beautiful when we can say we love ourselves and actually feel it and others can see it.  Character defects will always be a part of what we work on and just keeping it real and honest... I  have quite a list of things to work on.  Even after 5 years of working on them, seems like I touch on it, do some work on it, see some improvement and boom another one pops up....where did that one come from? why didn't I  see that before?  But I can say I appreciate you all very much.  Thank you for loving me back to where I am today.  It seemed I wasn't deserving, wasn't gonna make it, didn't want to make it without Jeff, yet because of the love and support of everyone, I'm well on my way.

I just thank God for His divine intervention and that He is a power greater than myself, greater than I can ever explain, except He obviously had other plans for me.  He wasn't ready to take me home, He filled  me with His love and grace and gave me the courage and strenght to go on and take one day at a time.
  He has proven over and over , He will do for me what I can not do for myself.  I am so glad He led me to New Hope Recovery Treatment Center, to have the courage to say "my name is Sherri F. and I am an addict, and I need help".  Those were some of the hardest words ever spoken.

I am grateful for greg, for standing by me, as I checked myself into a residential program for 30 days, for believing in me, for loving me, for supporting me and for never giving up on me or walking away from me.  I am sure he will never know how much that all means to me even 5 years later.  Thank you to Uncle Kenneth for meeting greg and I at New Hope during the intake and assessment process, you were very reassuring to both greg and I that I was making the right decision. I am grateful I was introduced to NA, found a sponsor ( I love you Lou and Tina), for my peers, for opening up and sharing their fears, hopes, and experiences, for praying with me and encouraging me.  I will never forget Holland, Chris, Steve, Shawna, Karen, Jana, Gail, Sue, Mona, Rita and so many others.  Thanks to NA, and all my predecessors for showing me a new way to live and thank the 12 steps and the counslors for guiding me and helping me understand.  Thank you to my mama and daddy for allowing me to be the best daughter I can be, for calling everyday and sending cards and care packages and most important for praying 24/7 for me and not being ashamed of me.  Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law for being open-minded and stepping out of her comfort zone and coming to family group every Tuesday and Sunday, and the homemade Snicker-doodle cookies for all of us.  Mike and Renee for standing by me and loving their mama regardless and I know it wasn't easy to let your friends know what had crept into our family.  I appreciate my neice and nephew for coming to visit and being so open minded.  I appreciate my work- the few that knew and sent cards and held me up in prayers, for Dr. C for doing what you had to do by elimanatitng my position with you, yet keeping me on with VODG and giving me a 2nd chance, a hurt and pain that I will never get over but it is what it is and will never understand but yet respect your decision  My church family was amazing.  Pastor Mark came and prayed and shared with me each week, and also believed in me.  I am grateful for my friends, you do find out who the true ones are at a time like this. I want to acknowledge  all the special roles each of you played, I just don't want to leave anyone out.  John Metz for the friendship quotes and the desire for me to be whole again, not so broken and lonely, for giving me your humanitarian metal of honor award from the army, I hold on to it with utmost respect and honor, ( and for the wool socks and mittens and cant forget Bart!)  To Ann Souza for being that friend that never left my side, you just stayed without asking, so thank you and I love you! For Kimmie, Tom and Scotty-man for pictures, phone calls and supporting my family 110%.  Tiney Perry, Bev, hope, Brenda for totally getting it.....friends for life terry and Harlan, times of need always there...thank you Allison for letting lex come and be a huge reason I needed to get better and janet and haylee for sharing in my journey. Uncle Ralph, Sandra, Uncle Kenneth and  Johnna for your love and support and loving me uncondtionaly.

One thing that when I mention struggles, I'm proud to say as disappointed as I was to not be able to be a living kidney donor for my dad because of certain prescription use, and my mom once again and again having the "C" word be a constant part of her life and me feeling like I wish I could do something for her- no matter the struggle or as my mom says "a bump in the road"  is in my journey, I haven't found the need to pick up and use and the feeling of joy when Renee graduated from Humphries Law School, when Mike married Beatriz and shares equal love for Viana.  To watch Alexis, Haylee and Viana grow up into respectful fun-loving young ladies ( and did I mention being a grandma is one of the most amazing feelings in life?) being able to touch someone's life or someone of someone eles life, or even possibly help save a life or two along with divine intervention.  The happy times, the heart breaking times, the pushed to the limit times, none of them ever have made me pick up...Praise God and it's because of so many people and because of God's amazing grace.  I am grateful God gave me a 2nd chance, that He has chosen to use me and my life to help others find a new way to live and nothing warms my heart more than that!

When I was in treatment, they made us and encouraged us to write, write and write some more.  I've taken that advise and truly believe the magic is in the pen. I am grateful I've been able to do this, has helped me tremendlously and even if just one person has gotten anything inspirational out of my writings and blogs...God's plan is working.

I do have to ask this occasionally " how can I expect God to repair my heart when I don't give him all the pieces." a part of me died that October day....yet a part of me lived that day and still lives, and I share the love and hope I have that Jeff would want me to pass on to others.  I also share his story, his love of life, of family, of gardening, of adventure, of music, of writing, of the son he was, the brother, husband, father,  grandson, uncle, cousin, nephew, and friend he was.  I continue on my journey and hold my head high because of all the people, love, support and inspiration in my life.  I do this for you greg, mike, renee, mom and daddy, mona, alexis and viana, me-ma and everyone else I mentioned and I am sure others I haven't mentioned 

A butterfly will always inspire me, just when the caterpillar thought it was the end of the world, the butterfly emerges....miracles happen and because of Jeff's death, many have been granted life , and I for one will never take life for granted and never stop saying this is all happening because of

His Amazing Grace...